


devils roll the dice, angels roll their eyes

by imposterhuman



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: AU-gust 2020, Alternate Universe - Angels & Demons, Banter, Demon Tony Stark, Established Relationship, F/M, Fluff, Little bit of angst, angel pepper potts, heavenly bureaucracy, tony stark is a little shit
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-05
Updated: 2020-08-05
Packaged: 2021-03-05 20:01:03
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,171
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25720978
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/imposterhuman/pseuds/imposterhuman
Summary: As a general rule, angels weren’t supposed to consort with their demonic counterparts and vice versa. Tony’s excuse was that he was a rule-breaker by nature. He didn’t know how Pepper justified it to herself, seeing how she was God’s perfect angel and all. Tony wasn’t sure it mattered, at the end of the day.“We have to stop meeting like this,” Tony drawled from where he was sprawled seductively on her couch. “People will talk. But then again, talk is cheap.”Pepper didn’t even look up from her clipboard of Important Heavenly Things (Tony had had one, once, and he’d spent an eternity wanting to snap it in half). “You showed up on my sofa out of nowhere,” she said. “The only talk will be about you and your clinginess.”
Relationships: Pepper Potts/Tony Stark
Comments: 11
Kudos: 96





	devils roll the dice, angels roll their eyes

**Author's Note:**

> we got hit with a huge storm and lost power all day, so i didn't know if i'd be able to get this up, but everything worked out!!
> 
> for day 4: angels and demons au
> 
> enjoy!!

As a general rule, angels weren’t supposed to consort with their demonic counterparts and vice versa. Tony’s excuse was that he was a rule-breaker by nature. He didn’t know how Pepper justified it to herself, seeing how she was God’s perfect angel and all. Tony wasn’t sure it mattered, at the end of the day.

“We have to stop meeting like this,” Tony drawled from where he was sprawled seductively on her couch. “People will talk. But then again, talk is cheap.”

Pepper didn’t even look up from her clipboard of Important Heavenly Things (Tony had had one, once, and he’d spent an eternity wanting to snap it in half). “You showed up on my sofa out of nowhere,” she said. “The only  _ talk  _ will be about you and your clinginess.”

“You wound me,” he pouted. He did his best to look dramatically offended, as was his God-given demonic right. “I’m wounded. I might be dying, you know? Angels can kill demons, and I think you might’ve done just that with your hurtful words.”

“You’re a child,” she muttered, shaking her head. 

“Hey!” protested Tony. “I’m not! I’m several thousand years old! I’m older than you, at any rate.”

Pepper smiled sweetly. “Why don’t you act like it, then?”

“Boredom, mostly,” Tony flopped around on the couch, getting more comfortable. “I haven’t really been thwarted in a while, and as it turns out, even evil gets boring after a time. I never would’ve guessed there’d be  _ so much  _ paperwork! Like, what are we, Heaven?”   
  
“Nothing is more hellish than bureaucracy,” Pepper quipped, finally setting aside her clipboard.

Tony gave it a significant look. “You would know,” he said. “Have you finished your list of ineffable bullshit yet?”

“For the night, yes,” she said primly. “I’m assuming you’re done with your list of low-grade evil?”

“We don’t really do lists,” Tony waved his hand. “I pitched a couple of projects, and I’m waiting to hear back from management. Also, I’d argue that what I do isn’t exactly low-grade evil, seeing Heaven is going to send you, their best angel, to thwart me.”

“I’m not their best angel,” Pepper said, a light flush staining her cheeks. “And the only reason they send me is because so far, no one else has been able to get results. Remember Steve?”

“Fondly,” Tony smirked. Steve had been one of the first angels assigned to counter his demonic work. He’d lasted three days out of sheer stubbornness, but he’d given up when Tony had messed with the New York City traffic system to the point that not even a miracle (or two hundred) could fix it. It was one of Tony’s proudest memories. 

Pepper rolled her eyes, but Tony caught her fond smile. “One of these days, they’re going to realize you’re fairly harmless and just leave you alone,” she warned. “And then what will you do?”

“Harmless?” Tony protested. “I’ve--”

“Never killed anyone, never influenced anyone to kill someone else, never even influenced anyone to commit a felony,” Pepper ticked off his lack of crimes on her fingers. He wasn’t sure how she’d gotten that information, seeing as angels weren’t really given access to demonic records. “The only thing you do is tell people to ask questions and cause low-level mischief. Frankly, as far as demons go, you barely register on Heaven’s radar.”

The worst part was, he knew she was right. He’d never had the taste for death and destruction that other demons seemed to have as part of their grudge against Heaven. Sure, he was angry, but he didn’t see how taking it out on God’s creatures would make it any better. She probably didn’t even notice the everyday evils his brethren inspired. So Tony stuck to opening people’s eyes to harsh reality and causing traffic jams, which in his opinion made him pretty damn demonic, though not completely soulless.

Still, he made a face. “Just come right out and crush my entire ego, why don’t you,” he muttered. “Questions were how I got thrown out of Heaven, so I’m pretty sure that counts as demonic activity. According to  _ your  _ boss, they’re dangerous.”

“And according to yours, you’re a terrible demon,” she countered with a raise of her delicate eyebrow. “I’ve seen your performance reviews.”

“Well, maybe  _ you’re  _ a terrible angel,” Tony scowled. He still had no idea how she’d seen those, but it didn’t matter. “You’re the one consorting with demons and not thwarting them. You’re a bystander to my great evil plots, and you know what they say about bystanders.”

Pepper leveled him with an unimpressed look. “Pray tell, what great evil plot are you conducting at this moment?”

“I’m seducing an angel?” Tony tried. He knew he didn’t look very seductive curled on her couch like a cat, but he put on his best bedroom eyes anyway. 

“You’re so bad at it that it doesn’t count,” she said, a teasing note in her voice, but a smile on her lips. “But if it makes you feel better, I can thwart you anyway.”

“Somehow, it doesn’t,” he pursed his lips. “Pep, what the hell are we doing?”

“Right now, or just in general?” she asked. 

“ _ Pepper _ .”

Pepper sighed. “You’re causing demonic mischief in my living room,” she said finally. “I’m doing opposition research in preparation to stop you from causing said mischief. We’re doing our jobs, Tony. You’re being a demon, I’m being an angel.”

There was something in Pepper’s voice, a resigned sort of sadness that was like a bucket of ice water over Tony’s head. It was a sobering reminder that they weren’t speaking only to each other. Either of their bosses could have been listening in, and either of them could decide to have them punished for their friendship. Sure, it couldn’t get much worse for Tony, but Pepper could Fall. That would kill Tony just as surely as it would Pepper, whose joy at creating miracles and helping make the world around her a better place was rivaled only by the joy Tony felt when he saw her smile as she did it. 

“Our jobs,” Tony repeated dully. Just because he understood the unspoken truth didn’t mean he had to like it. “Well, in that case, I think it’s only fair to warn you that I plan on doing my job all day tomorrow. I have all sorts of evil planned. I might start a cult. Or two cults, make them hate each other, and then set them against each other in a paintball fight. Nothing is more evil than a paintball fight.”

Pepper picked up her clipboard. “I guess I have to clear my schedule for tomorrow to thwart you, then,” she said, scribbling something down. Her smile was there and gone, real and bright and Tony missed it as soon as it disappeared. “Will that be all, demon?”

Tony smirked. He had less than a day to think of some quality evil plans, but it was so worth it. “That’ll be all, angel. See you tomorrow.”

**Author's Note:**

> comments and kudos make me happy :))
> 
> come talk to me on tumblr [@imposter-human](https://imposter-human.tumblr.com/)


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